I've now been in the great nation of Uganda for three months. As I have gradually become more and more accustomed to a different culture and area of the world, I sometimes forget just how diffrent things really are. So, here's my top ten countdown of the most ridiculous, unbelievable things I've encountered in Uganda.
10. "Are you China?"
A week ago on my way to work, a man started yelling "China! China!" from a taxi. Confused, I made eye contact with the man. He pointed at me and continued to yell "China!" and then asked, "Are you China?"
What?! Well, I am certaintly not the entire People's Republic of China and I'm pretty sure I do not have any Chinese heritage. I found it comical that a man thougth my ginger self could be Chinese.
9. "Oh, the rain..."
Ugandans do not know the meaning of the word punctual. Whether it be the Speaker of Parliament coming in an hour late to meet with the US Ambassador (true story) or a simple gathering of friends, Ugandans always have an excuse as to why they were late. If it's a sunny day, they blame the "jam." Despite the fact that the traffic is terrible every single day, Ugandans somehow always assume that the waters of the Kampala taxi Red Sea will part for them and not delay their journey. They are always wrong and act surprised that they couldn't get to work in fifteen minutes during rush hour traffic.
If, however, it's a rainy day, then you might as well assume that the meeting will not happen. If it's raining, how can you be expected to walk to a taxi? Sure, you have an umbrella, but you don't want to ruin the shoes you just polished....The city virtually shuts down when it is raining. People huddle up in small resturaunts and wait it out. After a government official with a personal driver didn't show up for an interview, I called him and he replied, "Oh, the rain...."
8. Fashionistas
Now, I don't know too much about fashion in the United States. But I do know that I've seen some pretty ridiculous things. Some highlights include: men wearing Hillary Duff t-shirts, wearing the detatched hoods from coats, wearing fur coats in 90 degree weather, and wearing three different stripe patterns at the same time.
7. Taking out the garbage
There is virtually no trash collection service in Kampala, save for in a few very wealthy neighborhoods. Thus, most families just have a heaping pile of trash in their back-yards. When it gets big enough, they burn it. This method has spread to the streets. The city is absolutely filthy with heaping piles of garbage strewn across every street. Even the areas where Ugandans get their water from will be filled with disgusting trash. The first day in my rural homestay, I asked if there was some place I could throw away a jar of peanut butter. They seemed confused with what I meant by a trash can. Finally, they just took the jar and threw it into the other yard. Such a great system.
6. Renting Movies
The first day I was at my homestay, my brother and I decided to watch Inception. I went with him to "rent" the movie and we ended up at a road side shack. Inside there were binders and binders of DVDs and an old-school computer. We told the man we wanted to rent Inception and he went through binder after binder until he found it. Then, he stuck it in the computer, made a copy, and handed it to us, copy right laws be damned. Any movie that's in the theatres in the US right now? I can get it here for less than 50 cents. An entire season of any TV show you watch? That costs 60 cents here.
5. Musical Tastes
Ugandans love country music. Shania Twain is like a ghost that haunts the city streets, always crooning about love or whatnot. Celine Dion is a perpetual presence in taxi rides. And that terrible country music which painfully serenades women with "Honkey Tonk Badonkadonks?" Ugandans can't get enough of it. Mix in a little Justin Beiber, Kesha, T Swift, and Jay-Z, and you have the "sounds of Africa."
4. Dressed in your Sunday Best
On Easter, I went to church for the first time in Uganda. As I walked into the building, I felt like I was showing up at my high school prom. Nearly every woman was wearing a glittery floor length gown that were supremely formal. Uganda deals with a lot of second hadn clothes, so all those dresses that iternational second hand stores can't sell gradually make their way to botiques in Uganda. Women buy these old formal dresses for around $3 and then wear them to church.
3. Obama-rama
Ugandans LOVE Obama. I think they might love Obama more than they love Africa itself. Taxis will have "Our Brother Barack" written on the back of them. There's an Obama Bakery will his picture proudly displayed on the sign. Obama Barber Shops, Obama nail clippers, Obama resturaunts, Obama shirts, Obama notebooks, Obama purses. Sometimes, when you tell someone that you're from the United States, they reply, "oh, the land of Obama." I'm dead serious. They assume that every American is as enamored with Obama as they are and hope he will "reign for years and years to come."
2. Protests
As I right this, the sixth day of the Walk to Work Protest is going on. There have been over 300 arrests, 200 injuries, and 5 deaths in these protests. All the people are doing are walking to work. That's all. No riots, no violence, just simply walking to work. And yet the police have used tear gas every day and rubber bullets frequently. Besigyem, the organizer of the protests has been arrested no less than 4 times. Yesterday 30 people were arresteted for trying to bring him food in prison.
1. Taxis
Imagine you are walking down the street, when a 14 passenger van comes speeding by with a man hanging out of the window shouting "Wandegeya, Wandegeya, Wandegeya!" as loud as he possibly can. (Wandegeya is a sector of Kampala). You put your hand up and the man pulls over. You climb over four other people to sit down and then start to drive. The woman next to you is holding a goat. Another man has a chicken. The man in front of you asks your nae and then proceedes to tell you that he loves you ad naseum. For the next hour, you sit sandwhiched in between goat woman and chicken man as you wait in bumper to bumper traffic. The man in front has moved on to proposing marriage. Finally, you arrive at your stop. You climb over everyone to get out (no one wants to move for you) and pay the conductor. And then you notice you now smell like chicken.
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